Frustration

I absolutely hate English.

Or I hate that I can't start doing everything like normally I would do, when I start a new production. Because now everything is in English, so first I have to concentrate in the pronunciation and like THINK WHAT THEY ARE REALLY SPEAKING, because no matter how good you are in English there is always a word or two which you don't understand.
And if you do theater in you mother language you don't have to think these kind of things, you only have to think about the context and the thought underneath the line and "does the character really means what she is saying or is she lying".
And then there is the fact that I am really quick personality and because English in not my native language I can't be as quick as I usually am: all the thoughts in your head, first you think them in Finnish and then translate them in your head in English. Aaaaarghhh! It is so frustrating. AND SLOW.

Okay. Sometimes the day is a struggle. Every English word is  hard and even though I have only six lines, I can't remember them as well as I could. But now, six lines and I am having trouble to remember them, how to pronounce them and... Everything is so hard and difficult. Sometimes I just want to go home and cry.
I feel that I am taking everyone elses time because my scene took so long to rehearsal.

But since I am a positive person, I know that I will get the hang of it. It just takes time. Uphills and downhills.